Hold My Hand And Teach Me To Walk
by l8r alyg8r
Summary: When Alice is critically injured in a car accident, she is sent to a rehabilitation hospital in Washington. With the possibility of her never being able to walk again quickly becoming a reality, can Dr. Hale save her?
1. Replacement

Disclaimer: I am **not** in any way, shape, or form **SM**. **She owns Twilight and** **all** the glorious **characters **that go with it. I'm simply here to have fun with them.

**Unlike the previous story, this is completely my own imagination. I've been putting this story off for a long time, but the idea keeps nagging me. **

**Hope You Enjoy The Story… If You Don't, Just Don't Review… Keep Reading Though!!**

**Chapter 1: Replacement **

**APOV**

I look at the seemingly daunting stretch of rubber trail with hand rails flanking each side. I was supposed to walk this? No, no, no. I can feel my legs start to give way as my hands flail, reaching out for the handle bars, my arms supporting my entire body weight.

"Take your time, Alice. Take as long as you need," my therapist Dr. Carlisle Cullen tells me soothingly. I look at the other end of the stretch and see him standing there. His posture makes me think that I can do this, but when I look at his eyes, and see the apprehension in them, I know I might never learn to walk again.

Dr. Cullen is a very well known physical therapist. Along with the many other things in the hospital that he does, Dr. Cullen is most known for his rehabilitation successes. He's six foot two, with light blonde hair and striking gold brown eyes. His skin is on the paler side with not an imperfection to be seen on any visible surface. He is one of the kinder doctors here, "always found with his stethoscope and a compliment in each pocket", as many people say.

"Just a few steps, Alice, that's it," he says.

Now to most people, _just a few steps_ would mean nothing, but that's not exactly the case for me. A few seconds ago, I was sitting in a wheelchair. A few weeks ago, I was bed ridden. And two months ago, I was hit by a car.

I take a deep breath and shake my head. "I-I can't do it Carlisle," I tell Dr. Cullen, who has reminded me from my first day that he is only known as Carlisle, and that Carlisle is what I should call him.

"Do you think you'd be able to do some water therapy?" He asks, walking easily up the runway to stand before me. _He makes it look so easy! Why can't I walk like that? _

"I don't know," I drop my gaze from Dr. Cullen's gold-brown eyes to his polished white shoes, their tops covered by the sea foam green scrub pants he wears.

"Would you like to try?" Despite the apprehension I'd seen in his eyes earlier, his voice seems to convince me that I _could_ do it. He seems to believe in me more than I do myself.

"I would like to try, yes." I nod slightly, keeping my eyes downcast.

"Okay, I'll help you back into your wheelchair and then you can meet me down at the water therapy unit," Dr. Cullen steps by me, not too fast to ensure I don't lose my balance, and brings the wheelchair up behind me. I feel the seat against the back of my knees and know that if I fall back, I'll be sitting in it.

I lean back and place one hand on the arm rest. Dr. Cullen holds my other hand as I fall, not so gingerly, into the chair.

"I'll meet you down there?" I ask, maneuvering the chair to face him.

"Yes. Take your time, don't rush. I have three hours blocked off for you," he smiles and pats my wrist. "You will recover Alice. I see your determination, and that is a crucial step. You'll do fine." I watch as he walks out of the main therapy room and down to the water therapy unit.

I wheel myself out of the room and towards an elevator. The water therapy until is located on the ground floor, but the main therapy unit was on the second. And even though the hospital had ramps, I don't quite trust myself on them. I still don't trust my speed control, or my ability to stop before plowing into an unsuspecting doctor, nurse, or other wheelchair bound patient. So, I press the 'DOWN' button and wait for the elevator doors to open in front of me.

The silver metal doors part with a _ding_ and I wheel myself into the elevator.

"Hello," a sweet, honey like voice says from next to me and I freeze. I look to my right and see a guy standing, well, _leaning_ in the corner of the elevator. He's tall and has this unruly blonde mop of hair on his head that hangs just slightly into his eyes. His eyes are ice blue, but they aren't cold. They seem warm and inviting. His skin is pale and seemingly perfect, save for the few scars he has on his forearms. But that's not what keeps my attention on him. He's wearing the loose fitting, sea foam green scrubs of the doctors here. "I said, 'hello'," he repeats, and I snap my eyes to his.

My face flushes a deep shade of red as I notice the smirk playing on his lips. "Uh h-hi," I stutter, wishing I could just back out of the elevator without causing too much of a scene or raising his suspicion.

"What floor are you headed to?" He gestures with his hand towards the panel of floor numbers.

"The ground floor," I answer simply, still trying to get rid of the dark blush tainting my cheeks.

"So am I, the button's already pressed," he sends me a dazzling smile, his lips parted perfectly over two rows of straight, white teeth.

I look towards the floor buttons and see that the ground floor is already lit up. _Of course…_ I try to maneuver my chair so that I'm facing towards the door and not sitting horizontally between the guy and the door. But, seeing as how an elevator has very limited space anyway and there is another person standing in it, it's easier said than done.

When the elevator doors open on the ground floor, I still haven't managed to turn around enough to get out and head straight down to the water therapy unit.

"Screw it," I mumble, trying to turn and _not_ hit the guy in the shins with the wheels of my chair.

"Need some help?" He releases a low chuckle and I can't help but feel humiliated more.

"Yes," I sigh, crossing my arms over my chest and huffing, deciding to just let whoever is in charge of my screwed up life to go ahead and play their sick little game.

I feel his hands slightly brush against my shoulder blades, probably on accident, as he grips the handle bars on the back of my chair. He turns me around so easily, I can't help but think he's done this a million times before. And if he's a doctor, like his clothes suggest, he probably has. Once I'm faced in the right direction, I put my hands on the wheels.

"Thanks," I rush, and with that, I'm out of the elevator and down the hall faster than I've ever been before.

I reach the door to the water therapy unit and push it open, the smell of chlorine assaulting my nose immediately, burning a trail to my lungs. I crinkle my nose and roll into the room and find Dr. Cullen standing by the smallish pool they use for water therapy.

"Hello, Alice," Dr. Cullen greets, striding over to stand next to me. "If you head into the women's changing room, Esme will help you get into your suit. I'll be waiting out here. Take your time." He pats my wrist and I wheel myself down to the other end of the room and into the locker room.

As soon as I enter, I am greeted by Esme. "Hello, dear. How are you today?" Esme is a very motherly person and she's been great support to me. Esme is Dr. Cullen's wife. She's worked at the hospital with him for forever, and it's actually how they met. They are two of the kindest people on the face of the Earth.

Esme is five foot six inches with caramel colored hair that surrounds a beautiful heart shaped face. Her eyes are very similar in color to the doctors, the golden brown being both comforting and very expressive. Esme has a light shade of skin too. Hers is also blemish free, except for the few beauty marks she has. And the first time I met them I wondered where the world was producing these beautiful people.

"As well as I can be, Esme," I try to laugh, and she gives me a sad smile.

"It will all get better, Alice. It will, I promise you. Carlisle is a great therapist. If anyone can teach you to walk again, it's him." Esme continues trying to soothe me as she prepares me for the water therapy. She keeps talking about how much improvement I've made, and how soon I'll be able to get out of the wheelchair if I keep it up. "You're all set, Alice."

I thank Esme, and then start rolling myself back towards the pool. The full body waterproof suit I wear for Aquatic Therapy is such an eyesore. The black and navy blue colors of the suit contrast way too sharply with my pale skin. I roll my chair over to where Carlisle is bent over the edge of the pool.

"Carlisle?" Dr. Cullen straightens up, and shakes the small thermometer in his hand.

"Just checking the water temperature. It's a comfortable ninety-two degrees Fahrenheit," he explains. "Are you ready?"

"I think so." I nod, but Dr. Cullen is looking towards the wall. The wall he's looking at is made of all glass; I know this even though I'm not looking at it. I've been here enough to have this placed memorized. I watch as his eyes trail an unseen object. I hear the door open and Carlisle smiles.

"Welcome, Dr. Hale. It's nice for you to drop in." I turn in my seat to get a look at this 'Dr. Hale', who I've never met before. But when I turn and make eye contact with Dr. Hale, I realize I _have_ met him before. The tousled blonde hair, fair skin, and ice blue eyes. He's the elevator guy.

"Carlisle," he greets simply, extending his hand for a brief handshake.

"I was just getting ready to work with Miss Brandon on some Aquatic Therapy," Dr. Cullen says, and I blush, _again_. Dr. Hale looks over at me, the same dazzling smile he flashed me in the elevator once again graces his God like face. _UGH! I _must_ stop thinking about him like this._

"Miss Brandon," Dr. Hale nods his head slightly. "It's nice to be on a name basis, isn't it?" He keeps his smile and I can't help but avert my gaze.

"So you two know each other?" Dr. Cullen asks, his hand rubbing the slight stubble along his jaw.

"Not real well, I'm sorry to admit. But we did get a small introduction on the elevator ride down here." Dr. Hale explains to Dr. Cullen, but all I'm thinking about is his choice of words. _'Not real well'? He's 'sorry to admit'? What was that supposed to mean?_

"Well, I hate to break up this, but we do need to get to work on some therapy," Dr. Cullen jokes. Dr. Hale nods and walks over to one of the padded folding chairs lining the wall beside the pool. I turn my face back to Dr. Cullen, my cheeks heated with embarrassment and my eyes heated with anger. He's letting Dr. Hale sit in on my session! That has to be against doctor/patient confidentiality. _Doesn't it?_

While I try to think of a way to get rid of my audience, I vaguely hear Dr. Cullen call for Esme to come and help me out of my chair. Before I know it, though, I'm lifted up, and _not_ by _Dr. Cullen_ or _Esme_. It is neither of them, their arms, or anything about them that I've become comfortable with. I'm pressed against a solid chest with strong arms clutching me as I'm walked into the water. _Strong arms with scars on them._

I want to scream. I want to kick. I want to _bite_ him even. How dare he just pick me up?

"Relax, Miss Brandon," he whispers in my ear, "you're so tense, just relax." I try and look over his shoulder to see if Dr. Cullen left, or if he actually gave his consent for this to happen. Dr. Cullen and Esme are sitting on the folding chairs _talking_, as if what is happening right now isn't at all wrong.

"CARLISLE!" I scream, my voice echoing off of the walls in the room. He looks over and waves. He _waves_!

"Dr. Hale is going to work with you on your therapy today, Alice," Dr. Cullen says, as if it's totally normal to just relinquish me to another person.

"Relax, _Alice_," Dr. Hale whispers, my name coming off of his lips in a way I've never heard before. "Are you ready?"

"Not in the slightest. Please, put me down!" I half scream, half beg, and Dr. Hale places me in the water.

"Float on your back, Alice." He commands, and I do, because this is how Dr. Cullen always started my routine out. Because I'm _used _to it. I float until I feel the familiar pool foams under my arms. "You can stop floating now, Alice."

I do, letting one arm rest on each of the pool foams while my feet up to my mid-chest submerge. When I look at Dr. Hale, I notice that he's wearing the scrub pants, but he's totally discarded the scrub shirt. His bare chest stops me from breathing. It's _breath-takingly _beautiful. His muscles are very outlined and defined, like Michelangelo's _DAVID_. His abs, a six pack, are even and toned to perfection. His shoulders are broad, but not too broad. His pectorals are sticking, and there's a perfectly outlined V-shaped pelvic bone that's covered by the warm water of the pool.

"Alice?" Dr. Hale's voice pulls me out of my one tracked mind state and I blush a new shade of crimson when my eyes meet his. He's got that same arrogant smirk on his face as he did in the elevator. The first time he caught me staring. But, let's be honest, how could you _not_ stare at this man? He practically oozes sexiness like it comes out of every pore on his skin.

"I-I'm sorry," I avert my gaze and look down through the translucent water of the pool at my toes.

"It's okay. Now, water therapy?" I can hear the low chuckle he lets escape and I nod. "Good. Can you move your legs back and forth? Can you kick them?" I shake my head. Even in the water it hurt.

"Not a lot. It hurts really badly when I move them even the slightest bit." I admit, feeling inadequate.

"It will hurt plenty the first couple of times, but once you get some mobility back, it won't feel as bad." He says. I notice then that he's standing straight, without treading water or using pool foams. Granted, we are in only five feet of water, but for my age, I'm short.

"Trust me, Dr. Hale, I know what pain is. My hips and pelvis are about seventy percent titanium now. Not to mention the numerous pins in them too," I say, half joking, half not. My hips and pelvis are most certainly not all bone and muscle anymore, but it's not as horrible as it seems.

"It's Jasper, Alice." Dr. Hale says. _Hmm, Jasper Hale_.

"_Jasper_? Are we going by first names now?" I ask teasingly. I _want_ to go by first names, in fact the thought made me giddy, but I didn't know if he was just putting me on or not.

"Well, you and Carlisle seem to be pretty comfortable with the whole first name thing," he stops and looks quickly over his shoulder. "Maybe we should try to do some water therapy moves, that way they can at least think I'm doing my job."

"Okay," I let the water completely relax me, like Dr. Cullen had told me to do the few times before. I let my right leg be lifted by the water. My hip seizes, and I try to put my leg back down, but Jasper's got my foot clutched in his hand. "Jasper, it hurts!" I cry out and he shushes me.

"Relax, okay? I know it hurts. Just think about something else." It's then I notice that Jasper is massaging my foot, his hands expertly rubbing under the arch of my foot and over the top of it, too. His hands are firm, yet soft, strong, yet gentle. This is something Dr. Cullen _never_ did. I feel myself start to focus more on the pleasure of the foot rub than the pain of my hip and thigh being pulled in a different direction. I let my eyes drift closed, allowing my body to float on the water. He continues to massage my foot.

"Mmm, Jasper, that feels so good," I let a soft moan escape my lips and I immediately open my eyes. _Shoot! I just _moaned! I look at Jasper, his eyes a tad darker, his hands still rubbing my foot, and the smirk on his face.

"Do you feel any pain?" Jasper asks and I shake my head.

"No. It feels as if I've been doing this for forever," I say, feeling his hands work their way behind my foot towards my ankle. They glide swiftly up my calf; he gives a light squeeze and releases my foot. My hip and pelvis crack in protest, but I don't feel any pain.

"Good. A few more of these and you should have some mobility back. At the very least, you'll be able to raise your leg a few inches." He picks up my left foot, massaging it the exact same way he did with my right one. _A few more of these and I'll never let you stop_. _At the very least, at least I'll have a nice massage_. I let my mind wonder as Jasper continues his work.

He rubs my feet for a few more minutes before he decides to stop. I feel the water around me raise and lower in small little waves.

"Did Carlisle ever do that?" I hear his honey like voice in my ear and my eyes fly back open, my heart racing a mile a minute.

"W-what?" I stumble, my heart racing, breathing faltering, everything breaking down around me.

"Did Dr. Carlisle Cullen ever give you a foot rub for therapy?" He repeats again, his voice enunciating every word in the sentence.

"No," I say, though I don't know why I'm still blushing. Dr. Cullen is married and I have no emotional attachment towards him whatsoever.

"Good. I'm glad." He pauses before speaking again, his lips so close to my ear that I can practically feel their silky texture against it, "Did you enjoy it, Alice?" I shudder involuntarily and I hear that low chuckle again. He noticed.

"Yes." My statement is simple, but with the way my heart is racing, the way my breath is getting harder and harder to come by, I'm afraid to try and say anything else.

"Good. I plan on doing it some more." He pulls away from me and comes to stand in front of me. "Ready to get out?" _How long were we in the pool?_ I check my fingers, my hands. They are pruney. We've been in here for at least an hour. I look over towards the chairs Dr. Cullen and Esme were sitting in earlier, to find that they are both still there, talking.

"Uh, yeah." I nod and try to make my way over to the wall of the pool.

"Silly girl. Alice, stop," Jasper wraps his arms around my waist, stopping me from my pathetic 'swim'. "I brought you in here; I'm going to take you out." He pulls me back against his solid, rock hard chest, and fixes his arms so that I'm sitting bridal style in them. He walks me out of the water and up onto the concrete surface of the pool room, back to my chair.

"Dr. Hale, she can go into the locker room! I'm going to help her get changed," Esme calls and instead of me being put pack into the comfort of my chair, I'm carried by Jasper into the locker room. The _women's_ locker room.

"Jasper! You shouldn't be in here!" I screech as he sets me down on a bench.

"Alice, I'm a doctor. So even though I'm going to let Esme come and take care of you, there's not a lot I haven't seen." He smiles and turns to leave the room, just as Esme enters. She flashes him one of her knowing smiles and he in turn, gives her his dazzling one.

"So, Alice dear, did you enjoy your therapy session?" Her knowing smile spread eagle across her face, her eyes twinkling with mischief that I thought only my friends could use on me.

"It was therapy, Esme," I play stupidly, and she shrugs, helping me out of the wet suit and back into my normal clothes.

"Looked a little different then what Carlisle usually does. It was different wasn't it?" She dries my short hair off using a towel before running a brush through it.

"I mean, I guess, but it was still just therapy." She finishes with my hair and leans down next to me.

"And I'm guessing the blush on your cheeks means nothing?" Her voice is so full of curiosity; I'm actually starting to wonder if she _knows_ or if she is really asking.

"I'm always flushed after therapy. The warm water does that to me." My explanation is bad, and she and I are both very aware of that.

"Okay, Alice," she sighs, giving up with the questions. "Carlisle has something he wishes to discuss with you back out in the main room, so if you would come back with me?" She does an open palm hand sweep towards the door and I nod.

Esme pushes me out of the locker room and over towards where Dr. Cullen and Jasper are standing, deep in what seems to be a very important conversation. Normally I hate being pushed around in my wheel chair like some kind of incapable patient, but Esme is so nice and I know she never judges, so I feel less self conscious around her. She stops next to Dr. Cullen and turns me so that I'm facing him.

"I have some things to tell you, Alice, and I want you to listen and let me explain, okay?" Dr. Cullen starts and I nod, having absolutely no idea as to where this conversation was headed. "The board has requested we get another physical therapist, thus, Dr. Jasper Hale has arrived from a very well trained facility in Houston, Texas."

"That's great, Carlisle," I say, glancing sideways at Jasper. _It's really great!_ "But what does this have to do with me?"

"Well, Dr. Hale is going to be tracked by both the medical board here in Washington and the medical board back in Houston. To keep some kind of record of progress on Dr. Hale, they are going to need to see him actually _work_." Dr. Cullen looks at me, his eyes expressing concern and anxiety.

"I still don't see what this has to do with me, Carlisle," I say, glancing from him, to Esme, to Jasper. What is going on? "Please stop beating around the bush and tell me?"

"I am transferring you over into the medical care and guidance of Dr. Hale," Dr. Cullen says. My heart stops, my mind freezes, only able to repeat that last sentence. _He's transferring me… He's transferring me… He's transferring me…_

"W-why?!" My voice is shrill and cracking as I look up at Dr. Cullen. "Why me?" I can feel hot tears prick and sting my eyes.

"I want Dr. Hale to receive good reviews. I think he's worked hard to get where he is and I wouldn't want to be the reason his status drops, now would I? You agree with me, don't you Alice?" Dr. Cullen asks, his posture gone from confidence to worry in a matter of seconds. For a second I don't care how hard Jasper's worked. For a second I don't give a crap if he had one of the best rags to riches story ever. For those seconds, all I can think about is how much I hope whoever's controlling my fate likes their roll of the dice.

"Yes, Carlisle," I force my words past the tight lump in my throat, not agreeing with him in the slightest. "I still don't understand why you picked me when there are a whole slew of other physical therapy patients."

"Alice, I want to ensure Dr. Hale gets good reviews, and to get good reviews, he has to have a patient he can actually work with, one that he can use in his reports and prove he is doing the work of a top therapist. Alice, do you understand why now?" Dr. Cullen asks me. I nod, averting my gaze to my lap.

"So, basically I'm a project," I ask, the tears threatening to spill over and cascade down my cheeks.

"No, honey, you're not a project!" Esme bends down next to me, hugging my small frame to her. "Carlisle isn't doing a great job of explaining things is he?" She brushed a few strands of hair behind my ears, her warm, soft hands comforting me.

"Not really," I admit in a whisper to her, raising my eyes to meet hers. She smiles and looks back up at Carlisle.

"Stop damaging the poor girl anymore. She's been through enough already; do you really have to transfer her? Can't you find someone else?" He takes one look at me, his eyes taking in my flushed cheeks, watery eyes, and all in all horrible appearance.

"In order for Dr. Hale to get good reviews, he must have a good patient. You should think of this as a compliment, Alice. You are probably my best patient and that is exactly the reason I am transferring you." Dr. Cullen explains and a thought hits me.

"You picked me on purpose, so that Dr. Hale could get good reviews?" I ask, my eyes narrowed into menacing slits.

"In a sense, yes, I suppose." He responds quickly.

"Isn't that like _cheating_?" I ask, my voice full of nothing short of apprehension and anger. But they just laugh. All three of them, Dr. Cullen, Esme, and Jasper burst into laughter at my statement.

"Well, I suppose to some people it would be considered cheating, yes. But for this specific purpose, I think we can find a less strong term, don't you?" Dr. Cullen asks.

"Like what?" My voice is confused as I try to think of another, _nicer_, way to say cheating.

"How about using resources to our advantage?" Jasper says, his gaze locked on me. _So I go from being a project to a resource? _

"Well, I must agree with Dr. Hale," Dr. Cullen says, his usually ever-present smile once again gracing his face.

"If you don't mind, I think I'd like to head back to my room now," I say. Esme gets up from her crouched position at my side. She moves to stand behind me and just as she get ready to turn me and push me out of the room and back towards the elevator, Jasper interrupts.

"Please, allow me," I can feel the exchange of their hands on the bars as Jasper's lightly brush my shoulders again.

I say a quick good bye to a smiling Carlisle and a beaming Esme as Jasper wheels me out and back to the elevator we arrived in.

"I can take it from here, thanks," I say, reaching to put my hands on the still wheels. But Jasper doesn't let go, he presses the 'UP' button and waits for the elevator with me.

"You must tell me, Alice. Are you disappointed that Dr. Cullen transferred you into my care?" Jasper asks, his voice full of concern.

I wanted to say, _"Disappointed isn't the right word to sum up all of my emotions right now. Confused, a little. Upset, yes. Angry, not exactly. Disappointed just isn't the right word."_ But, because my mind and mouth seem to lose their very important communication skills when he's around, I end up saying, "Definitely _not_ disappointed."

"I think this could end up working out very well for the both of us, don't you?" His arrogant smirk is back on his face. I nod and the elevator doors open with a rattle. _Thank God._ I wheel myself in immediately, not giving him time to do it for me.

He follows behind me, giving me enough room to turn around though, so that I am facing the doors. A quick exit.

"What floor?" He asks, gesturing with his hand to the floor panel once again.

"Four," my reply is simple and quick. Probably a lot more clipped than I intended for it to come out. I watch as his long, slender fingers lightly graze the buttons before pressing the number_ 4_.

"Ah, the private rooms," Jasper's voice is low and quite, almost a mumble. "Fancy, aren't they?" He asks, turning his attention back to me, his blue eyes shining with a certain sparkle that I cannot place. And, I don't know with which I am more taken aback by. The way he said '_private rooms_', or the fact that he used '_fancy_' in a sentence. I've never heard a guy use that word in a sentence.

"Well, uh, my parents wanted a private room. When my friends come to visit, we tend to get quite loud, and they didn't want me disturbing the other patients." I explain, for no reason at all. What business does he have knowing about my private life, or why I had a private room? What business is it of his?

The elevator doors close and we start our ascend after what seems like an eternity.

"I see," he comments lightly, and I find myself praying for the elevator ride to hurry up. _Floor 1... Come on! Come on! _The doors open. I groan. On the other side of the door stands a man and a small boy, pink balloons in one hand and a small pink teddy bear in another.

"I have a baby sister!" He says excitedly. His cute round face a chubby cheeks make me smile.

"Congratulations," Jasper offers and the man smiles, patting the top of the boy's head.

"He's been telling everyone that. I'm sorry, but I think we'll just wait for the next elevator. This one seems pretty full." _Of course you will… Of course it does…_ I groan inwardly. Jasper waves slightly before pressing the '_doors close_' button.

_Floor 2... Floor 3... _

"Are you okay?" Jasper asks, his attention once again reassigned to me.

"Yeah, why?" I ask, confused at his question and another emotion in his eyes.

"You groaned, I was just wondering if you were in pain or anything…" He trails off and I shake my head. _Floor 4…_

"Nope! All better! Bye!" The doors open and I hastily leave the confines of the elevator. I wheel out of it and down the hospital hallway at a speed that could probably rival any wheelchair athlete.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Alice!" I hear Jasper call after me.

I turn the corner and head down the other hallway towards my room. Maybe I was becoming claustrophobic, but I knew I _never_ wanted to ride in an elevator again.

**REVIEW! TELL ME IF YOU THINK I SHOULD CONTINUE! I love my reviewers & my readers!**

**Aly**


	2. Scar Tissue

Disclaimer: I am **not** in any way, shape, or form **SM**. **She owns Twilight and** **all** the glorious **characters **that go with it. I'm simply here to have fun with them.

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews! It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, lol :)! Please show your support with this chapter too! ILMR&R!**

**Special thanks to lil-ruty for being the first to review! And Missi for reviewing AGAIN to tell me to hurry and update (sorry it took so long, btw). And as always, Jemima84, RaNdOm AlIi, Karkoolka, and ****KathyHalliwell**** for being awesome!**

**Hope You Enjoy The Story… If You Don't, Just Don't Review… Keep Reading Though!!**

**Chapter 2: Scar Tissue **

"**Scar tissue that I wish you saw  
Sarcastic mister know it all…"  
-Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers**

**APOV**

My alarm clock went of quietly at seven o'clock on Saturday morning. I reached onto the nightstand table and turned off the annoying thing. I had stayed up late worrying about the events of Friday night, and I didn't get to sleep for good until well past midnight.

The white sheets and blanket on my hospital bed were itchy, and they paled in comparison to the soft, pink, silk night gown my friends had gotten me while I stayed in this hospital. I wished I could just have the bed set from my room back home.

I looked out of the window in my room to the beautiful garden path outside. There were already people outside, enjoying the rare early morning sunlight. If I raised my head, I could just make out the form of the great white gazebo where many residents went to sit and look out at the gardens.

It was peaceful in the gazebo, and quiet. It gave a person a chance to think, which is what I liked about it. I could sit out in the gazebo for hours, doing my new hobby. In the time that I'd spent at the hospital I had realized something. I like drawing and I was good at it. Being able to create a whole work of art from just one first stroke from the pencil tip excited me.

The door to my room burst open suddenly, hitting the wall with a loud '_bang!'_. I jumped slightly in my bed and looked at the door, all ready anticipating who it would be.

"It's the cheer-up crew!" My friend Emmett's booming voice bellowed. _This is _exactly_ why I have a private room_.

Emmett thumped into my room, his huge frame casting a shadow on the white tiles of the floor. He turned to look at me, a broad smile stretching across his face, highlighting his dimples. Emmett is six foot five inches tall and very muscular, like a body builder. He has short, curly black-brown hair and brown eyes. We've been friends for a long time.

I smile back- you can't help but smile back at Emmett- and he plops down on the end of my bed. I bounce up slightly from the force of his fall.

"Geez Emmett!" I scold, "I don't want to have to pay for a bed! Be careful!" Emmett smiles wider and starts to laugh, great bellows of guffaws.

"Do you have any idea how _wrong_ that would have sounded if someone heard you?" Emmett asked after he's gotten past his huge laughing fit. I rolled my eyes at his immaturity.

I noticed two more figures come to a stop in the doorway of my room. My smile widened even more. Rosalie and Bella waltzed into the room with a lot more grace than Emmett had. Rosalie smiled, planting herself on the green couch against the window. Bella followed suit, situating herself on the green chair instead.

"You look awful," Rosalie said. You could always count on Rose for a comment. Rosalie was the type of girl that could make yourself esteem plummet by just being in the same room with her. She had long beach blonde hair that flowed in perfect little waves to her shoulders. She had striking blue eyes and overall looks any girl would kill for. I was just lucky she was my friend.

Bella on the other hand was more plain, but still beautiful. She is five foot four inches with deep chocolate eyes and hair. She's totally against wearing makeup, she says it makes her feel silly, but I think it would just enhance her natural beauty.

"Thanks," I mumbled in response to Rose's comment. I started tracing the bumpy stitching on the white hospital blanket lying across my lap.

"Oh, Alice," Bella sighed, "you don't look _that_ bad." Now Bella you really _could_ count on for a compliment.

"Don't worry. Once you're out of here, we will have a girls night out," Rose said, reaching out for my hand.

"Edward says he's sorry he couldn't make it, by the way. Some med exam or something," Emmett shrugged his huge shoulders lightly.

"His _MCAT_s, Emmett," Bella corrected. "And they are not just 'some med exam or something'. This decides of he gets into Medical College or not."

_College_. How I wished I could go. I wanted to do something with my life; make something of myself. But my dreams were put on hold because of that stupid accident. Bella was really supportive of Edward's decision to become a doctor. They'd been dating since junior year at our high school and were perfect together.

Rosalie and Emmett on the other hand…. No, they were perfect for each other too; they just tended to be a little less lovey-dovey in public. Their affection was usually shown by Rosalie slapping Emmett upside the head for a rude remark or comment. But I still thought they were great together.

"Well _excuse _me!" Emmet feigned hurt, emphasizing the '_excuse'_ part of his sentence.

"So how's therapy going anyway, Alice?" Rose asked, her blue eyes shining with hope.

"Okay, I guess," I shrugged my shoulders, mimicking Emmett's shrug only moments earlier. I was not about to tell them that I'd still made no progress in regaining my ability to walk.

Should I tell them about how I'm being used, though? Should I tell them about Doctor Cullen giving up on me? Should I tell them about _Jasper_?

"Just okay?" Bella asked, her brown eyes shining with worry. And instead of the hope that was clear in Rosalie's eyes, I now saw worry there too. Rosalie tightened her grip on my hand slightly, giving me comfort.

"Doctor Cullen isn't treating me anymore," I said it softly, quietly, _secretively_. I still could not comprehend the events of yesterday, so how was I supposed to explain it to three other people?

"What?" Rosalie practically screeched. She had a look of pure confusion on her face that probably rivals the way mine looked last night.

"Are you cured?" Emmett asked, clearly ignoring the looks of confusion and worry on Rose and Bella's faces.

"Duh, Em!" Rose said, giving him one of the said slaps, "That's why she's still here!"

"Ouch!" Emmett whined, reaching a hand behind his head and rubbing his neck, "I was just asking a question…"

"What happened, Alice?" Bella asked, directing the attention back to the topic. I sighed, stabbing my blanket with my pointer finger fingernail.

"He just sort of _transferred _me," I mumbled, not expecting them to hear me at all.

"Does that mean you're going to a new hospital? After all you've been through here? That just isn't right! Whose goddamn idea was this?!" Emmett yelled the curse, another reason why I'm in a private room.

"No, I'm not _leaving_. He just put me in the care of this other doctor." I explained, trying to recall the conversations of last night so that I could help them understand better. The words _project_ and _resource_ were highlighted in my mind. They stood out like neon signs in the dark of night, and I couldn't help the tight lump forming in my throat as I thought of them.

"Is the doctor better?" Bella asked, her brow furrowed in deep concentration. I recognized the look from when she's reading a deep book and is trying to figure out the plot or the main character's issues. I should write a book. "Otherwise, I don't see why he would switch you," Bella was obviously completing a sentence I had not heard the beginning of.

"He's in some program that's apparently a collaborative effort between this hospital and one in Houston, Texas. Apparently because he's a new physical therapist, they are tracking his work progress or something like that. And Doctor Cullen thinks I should be a patient of his because he can work with me and get good reviews." I forced all of that past the tight lump in my throat, and did surprisingly well.

"Well, that's more of a compliment, don't you think?" Rosalie asked, glancing at Bella and Emmett. They all nodded their heads in agreement.

"I think it's more like cheating," I stated my previous thought from last night. "I'm a project, that's all I am. A resource." The words buzzed in my mind now that I'd acknowledged them. Everyone turned to look at me, and I felt small and meager under their gazes.

"How could you think such a thing?" Bella asked, taking my other hand and tracing slow, soothing circles on it.

"Never mind _how_. Who would tell you such a thing?" Rosalie asked, now furious. I could see the look on her face and knew she was ready to murder whoever had said that to me. But then I realized it was _Jasper_ who had brought up the term '_resource'_. And for some reason, the realization of this fact hurt me even more.

I couldn't say anything. I wasn't able to. The thought, the _realization_, of the fact that Jasper had called me a resource only succeeded in tightening the lump in my throat and making hot tears poke like cacti needles behind my eyes.

"Never mind," Rosalie said, dismissing her question. "So is he hot?" I nearly swallowed and choked on the lump in my throat right there. I let out a choked cough and Rose smiled. "I thought so."

"Rose-" I tried to change the subject because I was still feeling ripped apart at the thought that all Jasper sees me as is a project and/or a resource.

"Ah ah ah! Not another word. If he's hot, then you can definitely _not_ go to therapy looking like… like… well, like _that_! Here-" Rose proceeds to dump out half of the contents in her purse onto my nightstand. She mumbled to herself as she organizes little tubes of lipstick and mascara.

"Uh, Babe, I think if you guys are getting into the makeup and all, it's my cue to go," Emmett stands up, making me feel a lot smaller.

"Aw, are you sure you don't want to play makeover with us Emmett?" I teased, earning a laugh from both Bella and Rosalie.

"No thanks," Emmett bends down and opens his arms. I open mine in response and he gives me a great big signature Emmett bear hug. "It's been real. Get better soon, Pixie," Emmett whispers before slipping out of my arms and walking out of the room.

Rosalie wasted no time in starting on my makeover. I swear half of the materials she put on me were brand new and if I know Rosalie as well as I think I do, she bought them _especially_ for this purpose. Even Bella seemed eager to help, probably paying me back for all the makeovers I'd given her.

It felt so good to be pampered. I hadn't been treated like this in a long time. I was thoroughly enjoying myself when Rose finished her last brush of blush across my cheek.

"There, all done," Rose snaps the lid of the blush back on before tossing it in her purse along with the other materials.

"I know I said you didn't look bad before, Alice," Bella states, "but I think this makeover was really needed." She smiled after she said that, so I couldn't be mad at her.

"Take a look!" Rose shoves a compact into my hands and I hold it up. They really did a number on me! My eyes were lined with black eyeliner and shadowed in a smoky, sexy way. My lips were colored a slightly darker color than I would have originally chosen, but it looked good. I knew my cheeks were sunken and hopeless, but the blush on them made my cheekbones look better, surprisingly.

They'd even gone as far as fixing my hair, turning my short spikes into soft, small tendrils. I let a small gasp escape my lips.

"Wow, Rose, Bella," I whisper, still not believing that the person in the small compact mirror was me. The girl I was staring at looked healthy and _normal_, not at all the way I felt. She looked _beautiful_, but _I'm_ not. I'm scarred and broken, and maybe a third of the Alice I was beforethe accident. "But I'm going to therapy, not a night of clubbing."

"Was that a _gasp_ I heard earlier?" Rose taps her foot in mock annoyance.

"But Rosalie-"

"Do _not_ 'but Rosalie' me! You tell me if it was a gasp I heard after Dr. McSteamy kisses you. All right? All right." Rosalie laughs at her own joke and Bella joins her. I shrink down in my bed slightly and groan, crossing my arms over my chest. I watch as my two _supposedly_ best friends clutch on to each other in their fits of laughter. Honestly, it wasn't _that_ funny!

"McSteamy, huh? Is that what you're calling me now?" I freeze at the sound of that glorious, smooth honey, velvet voice with the sexy southern accent.

Rose and Bella stop their laughing and turn their heads in the direction of the voice. The look of shock on their faces says more than enough. I know they are having the same- or _nearly _the same- reaction to him as I did. I turn my head to the door just to get a look at his tousled blonde hair and his blue eyes.

"I don't think you were supposed to hear that," Rose states, rising from the chair and striding across the room to greet him. She extends her hand slowly, "I'm Rosalie, Alice's friend."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper gives her a light handshake before turning to Bella, who had joined Rosalie. "And you as well," he gives her the same handshake he gave Bella.

"I'm Bella, another one of Alice's friends," Bella introduces herself simply.

"Hey," Emmett's head pops around the door. "Babe, we have to go." He walks into the room, sizing up Jasper quite visually. Emmett walks over to me and opens up his arms again once more. I hug him back with less than half of the strength he hugs me with. "I love you Alice. Promise me you'll get better soon?"

I nod against his shoulder and he slowly releases me. Rosalie sighs, rushing in and hugging me to her next. "You better get better soon! I don't know how I'm going to do the sale at the mall without you!"

"It's okay, Rose. I'll be there even if you have to push me around it that horrible chair," I laugh, meaning it.

After Rose let me go, Bella hugs me softly. "We'll come by and visit again," she promises before letting me go and walking over to where Emmett and Rosalie are waiting by the door. They wave good-bye before stepping outside and leaving me alone with Dr. Jasper McSteamy.

I pray to God that he would not ask me about the McSteamy comment. I really do not think I'd be able to explain it without making a fool of myself. I mean, _look_ at him! His blonde hair was tousled and looked like some lucky girl had just run her fingers through it, making a perfect example of 'sex hair'. His blue eyes were striking and calming. And his muscles, from what I'd seen yesterday of his top half, were perfect.

"Will you come for a walk with me?" Jasper asks. I shake my head, questioning what a walk has to do with therapy.

"But I can't _walk_," I say, wondering if that thought just never crossed his mind or if he just completely forgot the reason he was my physical therapist.

"I know that, Alice. I was intending for _me _to walk and you to have a ride," he smiles, and my thoughts run a mile in the wrong direction. _Oh, I'd like a ride alright… _I shake my head and return his smile.

"Yeah, sure," I spontaneously agree to his idea and point to my wheelchair that is at the end of my bed. "Can you, uh-"

"Of course," Jasper smiles bringing my chair to me. I slowly move my legs to the side of the bed and realize, with quite a shock, that I'm still in my sheer, pink silk nightgown. I jerk my arms over my chest. "Alice, what's wrong?" His voice is panicked, "Are you having chest pain? Can you breathe?"

"Get Esme up here." My voice is clipped and harsh. I didn't mean for it to come out sounding that way, but it did. I didn't want Jasper to see my scars, my imperfections.

"Alice, what's wrong?" He places a warm hand on my shoulder and I jump as an electric current passes between us. His touch is comforting and I am calmed, but I'm still slightly embarrassed, and I still want Esme.

"I just need Esme. Please, Jasper, get her? Please?" I ask, not looking into the warm, ice blue liquid pools that are his eyes.

"But if it's something I can help you with, why go to the trouble of getting Esme?" Jasper asks, his hand now rubbing small circles on my shoulder blade. I can feel myself start to relax into his touch, and the warmth that radiates from it, but I stop myself.

"You can't help me with this. I need Esme." Jasper with drawls his hand slowly, his finger tips lingering on my skin as he backs away.

I hear his slow, rhythmic footsteps as he silently leaves the room. I slowly uncross my arms from my chest and look down. The top of my collar bone is covered in jagged scars from the sharp glass of the windows. One touch and I can feel the stabbing pain they brought to my skin.

I trail my fingers from my collar bone, along the silk seam of the nightdress, to my right hip bone. Without looking, I know that the skin looks stretched and marble like. If I press on the skin closer to my backside, where I have not gained any weight, I can slightly feel the top of one of the pins they placed in me.

My left hip is just as bad. The skin is also scarred and imperfect. It covers my non-bone hip bone, supported by pins.

Jasper could _not_ see me like this. I was not even myself to _me_, so how could I be anything to him? He was so perfect, he deserved better than me, _more_ than me. I was a bad person for having such feelings for Jasper. He was my therapist, after all, and I hardly knew anything about him.

_Besides the fact that he was devastatingly handsome…._

It was wrong of me to have such a desire for him. He deserved more than inadequate me.

"Hello, dear," a slight knock and the sound of Esme's voice brought me out of my reverie. I turned to look at her as she glided into my room and came to a rest in front of me. "What's wrong? Jasper said you repeatedly asked for me. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Esme. I just need help, uhm, changing clothes," I say, making an open hand sweep at my outfit. Esme smiles nudging me slightly with her shoulder against mine.

"Didn't want Jasper's help with that, huh?" I glare at her and she laughs her signature laugh. "Only kidding. So, what are you wearing today?"

I watch Esme walk over to the small closet that the room offers. She pulls open the doors to reveal all of my shirts, skirts, and jackets that I have crammed into that lame excuse for a closet. "How about the white v-neck shirt with the black cardigan and skinny jeans?" Esme asks, pulling the said items out.

"Not the v-neck, Esme. It's too revealing. And the skinnies are too low, they will show to much hip," I sigh, realizing nothing from my old wardrobe works for me anymore.

Maybe my clothes are symbolic. Maybe the skinnies and v-necks stand for a life I once had, but do not have ownership to anymore.

"Alice, honey, that's ridiculous!" Esme whirls on her heels, turning and pointing a well manicured finger at me.

I sigh, "Just hand me the gray sweater and the hip huggers." Esme gives me a sad smile, hanging the items in her hand back up.

"You know, part of the therapy process is acceptance, Alice." Esme tosses the sweater and jeans on my bed. "Have you seen yourself lately?"

"I have," I say, my voice cold, "and I didn't like what I saw one bit." I was not referring to the image of myself that Rosalie had showed me. I was referring to the brief moments when I touched and relived the accident through my scars.

Esme sighs, sitting on my bed next to me. She wraps and arm around my back and hooks her finger under my chin.

"I must disagree with you, Alice," Esme says in that motherly tone. "I see a smart, confident, and _beautiful_ girl. Look," she pulls a compact from her pocket and hands it to me.

I stare at the reflected image. It was the same image I had seen in Rose's compact. Except now I thought of my scars and the numerous pins holding me together. And no matter how hard I tried, I could not get past the images of my marbled hip.

"I see, Esme," I sigh, knowing that if I didn't say that I saw the image of myself that I really did not see, we would be sitting here all day. And no matter how bad of a person I was for thinking this, I really wanted to go on that walk with Jasper.

"Good! Now, let me help you get dressed."

Esme helped me out of the nightgown and into the gray sweater and jeans. My skin burned where she accidentally brushed her fingernails across the scars. I gasped several times, and she apologized several more.

"Thanks, Esme," I say when she finished putting on my shoes. She stands up and smiles, pushing caramel colored locks behind her ears.

"You're welcome, dear," she pats my wrist just like Doctor Cullen always does. "Now I think there is someone waiting for you."

She helps me into my chair and pushes me out of my room. As soon as we are in the hallway, I notice Jasper leaning against the wall out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look at him and he looks at me, a broad smile stretching across his beautiful face.

"Ready, Alice?" Jasper asks, pushing himself off of the wall and moving so that he is standing in front of me.

"Yes, of course," my smile widens as he steps behind me to take Esme's place at the back of my chair. His warm hands once again brush against my shoulder blades.

_I wonder if it really is a coincidence that that keeps happening_, I think to myself.

Jasper wheels me down the long corridor, his pace is steady and easy. I feel like I should feel more self conscious, being pushed around and all. But Jasper seems to exude calm, and I can't help but be affected.

"You look different today, Alice," Jasper whispers, his words ghost on his sweet breath against my ear.

My breath catches in my throat and my voice comes out as a strangled whisper, "R-Really?" He so close that I can smell his musty scent and it clouds my function even more.

"Mmhmm," Jasper hums.

"H-How so?" I ask, feeling a boost to my confidence all of a sudden. In my mind I'm chanting a mantra to the Mexican hat dance:

_He noticed, he noticed, he noticed, he nooooooticed. He noticed, he noticed, he noticed, he nooooooticed!_ And so on and so forth.

"If I may be so forward," Jasper's southern accent was pronounced during this statement, and I felt myself melt, like my legs were turning to Jell-o. Oh well, can't use them anyway! "You look very pretty today Alice."

No, no, no. This was _very _bad. I could not and would not allow myself to get in any way, shape, or form, involved with Jasper. I would not drag him down with me.

"Thanks," I manage, as he pushes me up towards the garden doors. I watch his long fingers press the blue handicap button and the door automatically opens.

"You're very welcome." Jasper says as he pushes me out along the path past the pansies and tulips and many other flowers.

The rare Washington sunlight did little to warm up the cold weather, however. I shiver despite the sweater I was wearing.

"Are you cold, Alice?" Jasper asks me. I shake my head but feel the prickle of goose bumps rising in colonies under the arms of my sweater. "You are a very bad liar, Alice." Jasper chuckles and my chair wheels stop rolling along the stone path.

I gasp as a brown coat is draped across my front like a blanket. It's warm and has the same musky scent that is uniquely Jasper. I slouch slightly and take a whiff, unable to resist.

"Did you just _sniff_ my jacket?" I freeze, realizing how stupid that must've looked. How stupid _I _must've looked.

"Uhm… _Maybe_?" I try to feign innocence, but the annoying blush on my cheeks gives me away. I'm really starting to wonder if letting Rosalie and Bella apply blush was a good idea in the first place, knowing how much I blushed yesterday.

"I don't think I've ever had anyone do that before," Jasper laughs in that low, sweet chuckle that I find myself falling for more and more every time I hear it. _Bad Alice! No!_

"Well there's a first time for everything, isn't there?" I ask. Now where did _that_ burst of confidence come from?

"Yes, there certainly is," I can practically hear the smile in his voice as we resume our trip through the hospital gardens.

I feel so comfortable just being around Jasper. And the more I acknowledge that fact, the more guilty and sad I feel. _Guilty_ because I'm pulling him into something he doesn't deserve. He deserves a hell of a lot better than scarred and broken me. _Sad_ because when it ends, which it _has_ to, I will be even more broken. And despite these feelings, I don't _want _it to end.

"Alice? Alice did you hear me?" Jasper's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and I turn to my right. Jasper is standing there with a seemingly perfect rose in his hand. "Don't tell me you suffer from dissociation, too."

I shake my head, 'no' and do a lame gesture towards the rose.

"I was trying to explain to you the meaning of different flowers, but I guess if that bores you, we could go back inside," Jasper explains, pointing with the rose towards the door.

"No!" _Bad Alice! YES!_ "I mean, uh, no. I like it outside." _Smooth recovery, Alice. Real smooth._

And because someone up there has it in for me, a thick, black cloud covered the sun and fat droplets of water rained out of the sky. I didn't even have a chance to react before Jasper was behind me, pushing me at lightning speed through the gardens to the only dry place, the gazebo.

Jasper pushes me up the ramp and into the dry haven. _My _haven. I watch the rain fall on the flowers and trees, coating everything in a liquid haze. Jasper slows his pace, pushing me over to one of the rails along the inside of the gazebo before stopping my chair and letting go, taking his seat next to me on a small bench.

I was turned so that I was facing him. His hair was soaked and it was now a darker sandy blonde. It clung to his head and forehead like a hat. His blue eyes were playful and appeared to be full of amusement.

He slowly extended his hand and brushed a few locks of hair away from my face. I close my eyes at the feeling of his skin on mine, despite the minimal contact that it was.

"So the r-roses?" I stutter, trying to bring his attention to something else. I open my eyes and see that arrogant, crooked smirk on his face.

"A deep burgundy rose, such as this one here," Jasper holds up the rose on its stem. I watch as droplets of crystal water roll off of the petals and splash to the ground. "They mean unconscious beauty."

"I thought roses just symbolized love. Was I wrong?" I ask, staring at the dark red rose in his hand.

"Red roses symbolize love. Orange and yellow are happiness and jovial feelings. Burgundy roses, such as this one, mean what I said earlier. _Unconscious beauty_," Jasper pauses, taking my hand in his and placing the rose in my palm. "I heard you talking to Esme, Alice."

"What did you hear?" My voice is panic stricken. Now I have _no_ choice. Now he will know about how imperfect I am and everything will be all over. The sadness rushes to my mind first.

"I mean what I said earlier, Alice," Jasper doesn't answer me, "about you looking pretty today. And I thought that yesterday in the elevator and in the pool while we were doing therapy."

"But Jasper, I'm not-"

"Alice, stop. I heard you talking to Esme. I heard you talking about how you didn't like the way you looked. And I heard you tell her that you did see, but you were lying. The way your boyfriend looks at you-"

No it was my turn to cut him off. "What boyfriend?" I ask, confused by what he thinks he knows.

"That big guy in the room earlier," Jasper says, "and I think he would just about have my head if he saw us sitting here right now."

"You mean Emmett?" I ask, my own laughter ringing through the gazebo.

"Well I don't know his name, Alice." Jasper says, glancing at me with confusion in his eyes. "What is so damn funny?"

"Emmett's not my boyfriend," I laugh, trying to stop, but failing miserably. "He's Rosalie's!"

"Oh," Jasper pauses. "So you're not dating him?" He smiles his crooked smile and I stop laughing long enough to answer him.

"I'm not dating anyone," I clarify.

"Oh good!" Jasper freezes, "I mean, uhm," he clears his throat. "Good. You should use this time to rest and rehabilitate."

"Right, of course," I agree. Then a thought strikes me and I turn towards Jasper, locking our gazes. "What exactly is _unconscious beauty_?"

"Unconscious beauty is symbolized by the burgundy rose. It means 'unaware of beauty', usually of someone's own beauty," Jasper's eyes grow pointed and I take the hint.

"But Jasper, I'm not beautiful. Look," I don't give him a chance to respond. I yank down the collar of my shirt and expose the jagged scars along my collar bone.

"Alice," Jasper says, his tone a mixture of confusion, comfort, and sadness, "what are you doing?"

"Showing you that it's _not _unconscious beauty, but that the beauty isn't there at all," I explain as my eyes stinging with tears. "And if you think that's bad," I turn in my chair slightly and pull up my sweater, exposing a sliver of skin from my hip with the glossy marble look, "it just gets worse."

"Alice, stop." Jasper puts a hand out to mine, but I jerk mine away so fast that he ends up touching the scar on my hip. He makes no move to remove his fingers; in fact he lets the tips trace the visible outline of the scar. I feel the electric jolt and warmth spread through my body.

"It gets worse Jasper, I swear it does," I say, turning to show him my right hip which is even worse than the left.

"Alice, stop," Jasper says again, and I do stop, feeling tears roll down my cheeks. _Why did I go out that night anyway? Why didn't I listen to them and stay home? Now I'm stuck with what-if questions and ugly scars._ "Why are you crying?" Jasper asks soothingly, his hand leaving my hip to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

"Because!" I pull his jacket up to my face and sob into it, "Because I don't want this to stop. But I can't drag you down to my level; it just wouldn't be fair to you."

"Drag me down? What on Earth are you talking about?" Jasper asks, his thumb brushing over the trails the tears have left on my cheeks.

"I,"_ don't know what I'm doing. _Shaking my head, I admit a defeat I'd seen coming since we'd started this. Whatever _this_ was, exactly.

In an instant, he leans in and presses his lips to mine gently, and my mind goes blank. I lose all coherent thoughts, which if I am being honest, there weren't a lot anyway. I place my hand on the back of his neck, keeping his face close to mine. He opens his mouth, his tongue darting across my lips. Without my permission, a low moan escapes my lips and I can feel him shudder slightly against me.

His fingers tangle themselves in my still damp hair, and I find myself wanting to do the same with his. So I do. His hair is damp like mine, but it's soft and his curls slip through my fingers like the softest silk.

His tongue darts across my bottom lips once more, and my lips part on their own accord. My mind and body lose sense when I near Jasper. And right now, I am _very_ near Jasper. His tongue slips into my mouth slowly, testing. It's my turn to shudder this time as his tongue runs over mine. He's sweet tasting, like peppermints and something else. The taste is unique, and I'm hooked, and I know it.

All of a sudden, and way too soon, he pulls back gasping. He shakes his head violently and jerks his hands up to his face. I watched as he runs the long fingers on one of his hands through his mop of honey-colored blonde hair.

"I shouldn't have done that," Jasper says in a low murmur. "Shit. I've really screwed things up."

I don't understand what happened. One minute we were discussing roses, the next we were kissing, and now he's mad?

"But I _liked _it," I saw honestly, scooting up in my chair more so that I could lean in closer to him.

"And that's the problem. Damn it," he mumbles the curse and I feel my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. His face is buried in his hands as he sits crouched over on the gazebo bench.

"How is that a problem? Didn't you enjoy it?" I know I'm being bold, but something is wrong with this picture here. If I did something wrong, I'm going to find out what it was.

"It's a problem, believe me." Jasper sighs, "I'm not supposed to get quote on quote 'romantically involved' with any patients while I'm working here. It's in my contract." He lifts his face out of his hands and his eyes burn with an intensity I haven't seen before. "But I don't know if I can."

"Don't know if you can what?" I ask. I hope he'll say that he feels the same way. I hope he'll acknowledge the attraction that, on some level, is between us. I hope he'll say that he can't stay away from me and we will have a relationship anyway.

I shake my head at myself. I've been reading way too many of those romance novels Rosalie and Bella have been bringing me.

"I don't know if I can adhere to that contract." Jasper lets out a long, low breath. I could feel the edges of his breath hit my collar bone, seemingly cooling the scars that are a constant burning reminder about what I've gone through and what I've left behind.

"Then don't." I know my statement is bold, but I want, and meant for, it to be. I haven't felt this alive since before the accident, and I was not about to lose the feeling.

"It's dangerous, Alice. I could lose my job here and be sent back to Houston," Jasper's voice is full of warning.

"Then we will just have to be careful," I say with confidence and conviction, hopefully convincing him that somehow we will make this work.

"Very careful," Jasper agrees softly. He reaches out a tentative hand and places it on my right hip, the most damaged one.

The meaning is not lost on me. Jasper is trying to tell me that he's not going to rush anything because of my condition. He thinks I am fragile, and I realize he thought that before. He never thought I was inadequate, and I am stupid and idiotic for thinking he thought so.

The rain cleared up, finally. And I mean this literally and metaphorically.

**So? Sorry it was late, there was a lot happening in my life. But I had to post this. On a happier note, my birthday is in six days! WHOOT! A review is the best present I can get!**

**LMR&R!  
Aly :)**


	3. Important

Hi guys, I'm Gina, Alli's best friend…

Some of you may know this, and some of you may not. Alli's been battling breast cancer for over a year. She's had a lot of ups and downs, but right now, she's in some pretty bad shape. She feels so guilty for leaving you guys with nothing, so she wanted me to at least explain what was happening. She's asked me to tell you that she cannot apologize enough for this. I don't know why she's apologizing so much. It's not her fault, but it's what she wanted me to tell you all.

I'll be posting this message on her other stories. Please wish her luck and pray if that's what you do. She needs it.

Thanks,

Gina


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